Post by Anonymous Vet on Dec 9, 2002 10:22:58 GMT -5
February 13, 1984
Writers Name Mrs. Eleanor Wimbish, of Glen Burnie, Maryland
Dear Bill,
Today is February 13, 1984. I came to this black wall again to see and touch your name,
and as I do I wonder if anyone ever stops to realize that next to your name, on this black wall,
is your mother's heart. A heart broken 15 years ago today, when you lost your life in Vietnam.
And as I look at your name, William R. Stocks, I think of how many, many times I used to
wonder how scared and homesick you must have been in that strange country called Vietnam. And if
and how it might have changed you, for you were the most happy-go-lucky kid in the world,
hardly ever sad or unhappy. And until the day I die, I will see you as you laughed at me, even
when I was very mad at you, and the next thing I knew, we were laughing together.
But on this past New Year's Day, I had my answer. I talked by phone to a friend of yours
from Michigan, who spent your last Christmas and the last four months of your life with you.
Jim told me how you died, for he was there and saw the helicopter crash. He told me how you had
flown your quota and had not been scheduled to fly that day. How the regular pilt was unable to
fly, and had been replaced by someone with less experience. How they did not know the exact
cause of the crash. How it was either hit by enemy fire, or they hit a pole or something unknown.
How the blades went through the chopper and hit you. How you lived about a half hour, but were
unconscious and therefore did not suffer.
He said how your jobs were like sitting ducks. They would send you men out to draw
the enemy into the open and then they would send in the big guns and planes to take over.
Meantime, death came to so many of you.
He told me how, after a while over there, instead of a yellow streak, the men got a
mean streak down their backs. Each day the streak got bigger and the men became meaner.
Everyone but you, Bill. He said how you stayed the same, happy-go-lucky guy that you were
when you arrived in Vietnam. How your warmth and friendliness drew the guys to you. How your
lieutenant gave you the nickname of "Spanky," and soon your group, Jim included, were all known
as "Spanky's gang." How when you died it made it so much harder on them for you were their moral
support. And he said how you of all people should never have been the one to die.
Oh, God, how it hurts to write this. But I must face it and then put it to rest. I know
after Jim talked to me, he must have relived it all over again and suffered so. Before I hung up
the phone I told Jim I loved him. Loved him for just being your close friend, and for being
there with you when you died. How lucky you were to have him for a friend, and how lucky he
was to have had you.
Later that same day I received a phone call from a mother in Billings, Montana. She
had lost her daughter, her only child, a year ago. She needed someone to talk to for no one
would let her talk about the tragedy. She said she had seen me on televison on New Year's Eve,
after the Christmas letter I wrote to you and left at this memorial had drawn newspaper and
television attention. She said she had been thinking about me all day, and just had to talk to
me. She talked to me of her pain, and seemingly needed needed me to help her with it. I cried
with this heartbroen mother, and after I hung up the phone, I laid my head down and cried as hard
for her. Here was a mother calling me for help with her pain over the loss of her child, a grown
daughter. And as I sobbed I thought, how can I help her with her pain when I have never
completely been able to cope with my own?
They tell me the letters I write to you and leave here at this memorial are waking
others up to the fact that there is still much pain left, after all these years, from the Vietnam
War.
But this I know. I would rather have had you for 21 years, and all the pain that goes
with losing you, than never to have had you at all.
Mom
Writers Name Mrs. Eleanor Wimbish, of Glen Burnie, Maryland
Dear Bill,
Today is February 13, 1984. I came to this black wall again to see and touch your name,
and as I do I wonder if anyone ever stops to realize that next to your name, on this black wall,
is your mother's heart. A heart broken 15 years ago today, when you lost your life in Vietnam.
And as I look at your name, William R. Stocks, I think of how many, many times I used to
wonder how scared and homesick you must have been in that strange country called Vietnam. And if
and how it might have changed you, for you were the most happy-go-lucky kid in the world,
hardly ever sad or unhappy. And until the day I die, I will see you as you laughed at me, even
when I was very mad at you, and the next thing I knew, we were laughing together.
But on this past New Year's Day, I had my answer. I talked by phone to a friend of yours
from Michigan, who spent your last Christmas and the last four months of your life with you.
Jim told me how you died, for he was there and saw the helicopter crash. He told me how you had
flown your quota and had not been scheduled to fly that day. How the regular pilt was unable to
fly, and had been replaced by someone with less experience. How they did not know the exact
cause of the crash. How it was either hit by enemy fire, or they hit a pole or something unknown.
How the blades went through the chopper and hit you. How you lived about a half hour, but were
unconscious and therefore did not suffer.
He said how your jobs were like sitting ducks. They would send you men out to draw
the enemy into the open and then they would send in the big guns and planes to take over.
Meantime, death came to so many of you.
He told me how, after a while over there, instead of a yellow streak, the men got a
mean streak down their backs. Each day the streak got bigger and the men became meaner.
Everyone but you, Bill. He said how you stayed the same, happy-go-lucky guy that you were
when you arrived in Vietnam. How your warmth and friendliness drew the guys to you. How your
lieutenant gave you the nickname of "Spanky," and soon your group, Jim included, were all known
as "Spanky's gang." How when you died it made it so much harder on them for you were their moral
support. And he said how you of all people should never have been the one to die.
Oh, God, how it hurts to write this. But I must face it and then put it to rest. I know
after Jim talked to me, he must have relived it all over again and suffered so. Before I hung up
the phone I told Jim I loved him. Loved him for just being your close friend, and for being
there with you when you died. How lucky you were to have him for a friend, and how lucky he
was to have had you.
Later that same day I received a phone call from a mother in Billings, Montana. She
had lost her daughter, her only child, a year ago. She needed someone to talk to for no one
would let her talk about the tragedy. She said she had seen me on televison on New Year's Eve,
after the Christmas letter I wrote to you and left at this memorial had drawn newspaper and
television attention. She said she had been thinking about me all day, and just had to talk to
me. She talked to me of her pain, and seemingly needed needed me to help her with it. I cried
with this heartbroen mother, and after I hung up the phone, I laid my head down and cried as hard
for her. Here was a mother calling me for help with her pain over the loss of her child, a grown
daughter. And as I sobbed I thought, how can I help her with her pain when I have never
completely been able to cope with my own?
They tell me the letters I write to you and leave here at this memorial are waking
others up to the fact that there is still much pain left, after all these years, from the Vietnam
War.
But this I know. I would rather have had you for 21 years, and all the pain that goes
with losing you, than never to have had you at all.
Mom